> > Version 2.1.168.IIa (Beta version) > > 1. Do you consider yourself sane? > 2. Are you willingly taking this test? > 3. Do you ever talk to plants? > 4. Do you ever talk to animals? > 5. Do you ever talk to inanimate objects? > 6. Do you ever talk to yourself? > 7. Have you ever had a meaningful conversation with any of the > above? > 8. Do you ever hear voices in your head? > 9. If so do you ever talk to the voices in your head? > 10. Do you often not understand what the voices are talking about? > 11. Have you ever been admitted to an psychiatric institution? > 12. Have you ever seeked psychiatric help? > 13. Do you always keep to 30 miles per hour speed limits (whilst > driving a car)? > 14. Do you enjoy setting fire to things? > 15. If so do you prefer them to be alive? > 16. Do you enjoy playing with firearms? > 17. Do you wish people would allow you to play with firearms? > 18. Are the buckles on your jumper too tight? > 19. Do you have an unreasonable fear of Aliens? > 20. Are you an Alien? > 21. Do you check under your bed before you go to sleep? > 22. Do people tend to stare at you? > 23. Do people laugh at you behind your back? > 24. Is Elvis Presley alive? > 25. Have you ever flicked through the telephone directory without > actually looking for anything? > 26. Have you ever called directory enquiries without actually looking > for anything? > 27. Do you often watch TV just for the sake of it? > 28. Would you be shocked to hear that your favourite 'Soap' > characters are fictional? > 29. Do you name your possessions? ( cars, computers, socks? ) > 30. Have you ever tried to play a record backwards to search for > hidden messages? > 31. If so, have you ever found any? > 32. Do you hear people calling your name on the background of certain > records? > 33. Have you greatly altered your opinion of someone after > discovering their star sign? > 34. Do you avoid walking under ladders? > 35. Do you purposely walk under ladders to show that you are not > superstitious? > 36. Do you ever change subjects in the middle of a sentence? > 37. Do you ever forget what you are saying in the middle of a > sentance? > 38. Are you obsessed with death? > 39. Were you a famous or important person in a past life? > 40. Have you ever wondered why the fluff in your belly button is a > uniform blue? > 41. Do you sometimes have very violent urges? > 42. Do you refuse to believe things if they are not scientifically > proven? > 43. Do you believe faithlessly in something which has been > scientifically proven? > 44. Do you refuse to believe in anything but yourself? > 45. When you are bored do you sometimes light matches just to watch > them burn? > 46. When you are bored do you sometimes set fire to people or animals > just to watch them burn.? > 47. Do you sometimes tessalate complex 3-Dimensional shapes (e.g. not > cubes) in your head when you get bored? > 48. Can you tesselate regular tetrahedrons in your head? > 49. Do you sometimes tesselate 4 or more Dimensional sphapes in your > head when you get bored? > 50. Have you ever set fire to ants with a magnifying glass.? > 51. Do you have a strong fear of something which you know does not > pose any threat? > 52. Are you the kind of person who puts used matches back into the > matchbox? > 53. Are you the kind of person who gets really annoyed with people > who put used matches back in the box? > 54. Do you have multiple personalities (or aliases) that act > independently? > 55. If so, do some of your personalities dislike each other? > 56. Are you cohabiting in your own body? > 57. Do you believe in killing off the weak to further evolution? > 58. Do you believe killing is pretty good anyway? > 59. Are you worried about the result of this test? > 60. Are you purposely lying to conceal your mental instability or > stability? > 61. Have you ever taken a Purity test? > 62. If so, do you wish you had a lower score? > 63. Do you continually talk about test scores ( such as Sanity, > Purity, Driving or Urine tests ) > 64. Have you ever purposely tried to lower your Sanity test score? > 65. Have you ever performed a Sanity test with ulterior motive? > 66. Have you ever used a Sanity Test as a check list? > 67. Have you ever used the Sanity test as a shopping list? > 68. Have you ever opened the back of your television to let all the > little people out? > 69. Have you ever tried to check if the light is still on when the > fridge door is closed? > 70. Does it still worry you? > 71. Are you afraid of having your picture taken? > 72. When listening to yourself on audio tape do you refuse to believe > that it is you? > 73. Do you dislike seeing yourself on video? > 74. Do you consider most of the people you know as completely mad? > 75. Are they? > 76. Did you answer differently to the last two questions? > 77. Have you ever taken an IQ test and believed the results were > lower than they hould have been? > 78. Have you taken this test seriously so far? > 79. Are you afraid to do this test in front of lots of other people? > 80. Have you ever purposely watched a film more than five times? > 81. If so, was this within the peiod of one day? > 82. Were your answers to the above two questions the same? > 83. Do you tell jokes and get nervous when other people laugh at > them? > 84. Do you hit yourself when you get nervous? > 85. Do you hit yourself when you tell jokes? > 86. Do people hit you when you tell jokes? > 87. Do people laugh when you hit yourself? > 88. Do people hit you, laugh at you and tell jokes about you? > 89. Have you ever played a word disassociation game? > 90. When talking to someone with the same name as you, do you > sometimes get confused as to which one you are? > 91. Please answer 'NO' to this question? > 92. Do you consider that the authors of this test are insane? > 93. Have you ever tried to fly? > 94. Did you die as a result? > 95. Do you consider yourself a good representation of an average > person? > 96. Do you continue talking even when you know that no one is > litening to you? > 97. Do you believe that the ideal Christmas involves a game of > Trivial Pursuit? > 98. Do you get annoyed when people call the Trivial Pursuit game > 'Trivial Pursuits.'? > 99. Do you start to reuse dirty plates rather than washing them? > 100. Do you share the philosophy: "what is the point of washing plates > when we only dirty them again" > 101. Would you rather not generate rubbish than spend five minutes > emptying a full waste bin? > 102. Have you ever tried to kill flies with an elastic band? > 103. If so, did you enjoy the feeling? > 104. Do you ever find yourself singing 'singing in the rain' in the > rain? > 105. Do you understand the deeper meaning of Dannii Minogue records? > 106. Have you ever had secret desires to be a Weather man? > 107. Are you unable to get through the day without logging into a > computer? > 108. Do you sometimes get large blank spaces in your memory of the > previous few weeks? > 109. If so, do you try to colour them in? > 110. Do you know what question number this is? > 111. Do you think that you are immortal? > 112. Do people not understand what you are talking about most of the > time? > 113. If so, is this because you are many times more intelligent than > they are? > 114. Do you have an obsession about a particular type of vehicle ( > e.g. Trains, Fire Engines etc.) ? > 115. Do you draw pictures of people getting violently injured (e.g. > decapitated, shot etc.) ? > 116. Have you ever tried to commit suicide? > 117. Can you remember the phone numbers of the last few houses you > lived at? > 118. Are you incapable of lying? > 119. Are you a God/Godess or God-like entity? > 120. Are you subject to fits of depression? > 121. Do you do strange things when depressed? > 122. Have you so far answered 'no' to every question? > 123. Do you dislike the previous question because no-one can get 100% > sanity? > 124. Have you ever tried to make a tower out of rice crispies or > simillar breakfast cerial? > 125. Have things, that you would have thought impossible before the > event, ever happened to you? > 126. If so, did you still consider them impossible after the event? > 127. When people ask you for directions do you get the urge to send > them in completely the opposite direction? > 128. Are you plagued by strange coincedances? > 129. Do you have an overactive intrest in small pieces of rubber? > 130. Do you often make pointless silly noises (whilst alone)? > 131. Do you ever talk in silly voices (whilst alone)? > 132. Have you ever lost your voice and looked for it? > 133. Have you ever found an ants nest, and then spent your time > stamping on all the ants? > 134. Do you intend to take this test again and see how much your score > has changed? > 135. Can you sometimes spend more than 15 minutes making silly faces > at yourself in the mirror? > 136. Do you tend to rest in what other people consider strange > positions whilst alone e.g. under your desk? > 137. Have you ever mailed one of the authors with a sanity test score? > 138. Have you ever mailed 'cs0005@bristol.seqa'? > 139. If so did you announce your undying love to this person? > 140. Do you ever have dreams about being killed? > 141. Do other people have dreams about you killing them? > 142. If so, do they ever tell you about them? > 143. Do you cut your own hair? > 144. Have you ever been to a night club called 'The Pink Coconut' in > Brighton? > 145. If so, were you wearing leathers? > 146. Do you roll bus tickets into tight cylinders? > 147. Have you ever accidentally destroyed a return bus ticket while > fiddling with it on the bus? > 148. Do you lock the toilet door even though you know you are the only > person in the house? > 149. Do you leave the toilet door wide open when you know you are the > only person in the house? > 150. Do you ever lock the toilet door when you know you are not the > only person in the toilet? > 151. Do you Understand Quantum Mechanics? > 152. If so do you know what Quantum Mechanics is? > 153. When you walk down a street to people usually cross over the road > or press themselves against a wall? > 154. Do you find that some of your friends appear to be invisible to > everyone else? > 155. Do you have an unusual obsession for Danni Minogue? > 156. Do your heroes include fascist dictators, people who have been > commited to psychiatric institutions, murderers, rapists or > estate agents? > 157. Do you own the complete works of Douglas Adams and wear an > anorak? > 158. Do you wear a hat? > 159. Do you believe that most of the interesting conversations you > have had this week involve computers? > 160. Do you enjoy inflicting physical damage apon yourself? > 161. Have you so far outlined all the spelling mistakes in the test? > 162. If not, have you outlined all the words that are spelled > correctly? > 163. Do you blow on a piece of food that has fallen on the floor > before eating it? > 164. Have you ever become so obsessed with an object to the point of > not allowing anyone else to touch it? > 165. Do most people who approach you immediately comment on your > clothes? > 166. Do you try to impress people by parts of your body that are > double jointed, or strange things that you can do with your eyes? > 167. Do you believe that the Microwave Oven proves the non-existance > of God? > > Do you own any of the following: > > 168. A ponographic magazine? > 169. A copy of "Are you mine?" by Bros on CD? > 170. A machete? > 171. A copy of DOS 1.1 on 3.5" disk? > 172. A dead animal? > 173. The Holy Grail? > 174. Or a book by Dennis Wheatley? > > 175. After cross-referencing the whole Oxford English dictionary would > you be suprised to find that the only 3 fundemenal words are > "A","The" and "Belgium"? > 176. Do you believe that most people live normal lives? > > ----------------------------------------------------------------- > Scoring : > > Method 0 (easy): > -- Claim that you got 16% and mail it to the authors. > > Method 1 (hard): > -- Add up the number of "Yes" answers, and divide by the number > of questions (168). Then convert the answer into a number and > multiply by 100. This is the percentage of your sanity... 100% > means that you are sane to the point of being completely > abnormal. 0% means that you were not actually listening to the > questions but were just continually answering "yes" - therapy is > advised. > > Method 2 (slightly harder) : > -- Add up the number of "No" answers and add 168, divide by 168. > -----------------------------------------------------------------http://webpages.marshall.edu/~blair9/html/sanitytest.html